Espada on Crack
by dartboi
Summary: What happen when they have Szayels crack brownies? Well lets find out shall we   .


Whelp im addicted to Bleach XD. So this is just gonna be a one chapter story. Summary: What happens when the Espada eat some of Szayel's crack brownies? Let's find out ^^. Also im going to not include Zommari and Aaroniero just because I don't really like them… Anyways on to the story!

Grimmjow walked into the room holding a giant plate of brownies, inside the room was Ulquiorra, Yammy, Nnoitra, Gin, Harribel, and Stark.

Ulquiorra looked up from his book at him ""What are you carrying…." He asked suspicious of the 6th Espada.

Grimmjow smirked "I found some brownies in Szayel's room and took them because im hungry" he stated simply.

Harribel raised an eyebrow "Why were in his room?" she asked.

Grimmjow blinked "He's got some crazy ass shit in there and I went in looking for some stuff and found these" he said.

Nnoitra stood up and walked over and grabbed one "Well thank you for getting me some" he said taking a bite of it.

Grimmjow hissed "I didn't get any for your ass" he yelled but Nnoitra just had a spaced out look.

"Whoa man….their like awesome…" he said his pupils big as Aizen's ego. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow "Anyways here you guys take one" he said.

Gin shot his sword out and it went through one then went back to Gin who still had a sly smile.

Grimmjow nearly scared to shit panted and passed the plate around.

Gin took a bite and his grin faded as he looked up at the ceiling.

Ulquiorra just passed the plate without taking one.

Harribel took one and started eating it's and almost seemed unaffected.

After some argument and Grimmjow shoving a brownie down Ulquiorra throat.

Everyone began to lose their sanity.

"Ya know guys I've always wanted a pet toaster….but no Asszen said I was out of my mind or some shit" Gin complained.

Ulquiorra rocked back and forth sulking "Why didn't my Uncle Timmy love me….. Uncle Timmy!" he yelled.

Nnoitra was trying break off his spoon-shaped hood of his uniform and was failing.

Grimmjow growled "Stupid ass dogs peeing on my couch and getting all the damn loving…." He muttured kicking the ground.

Harribel was jumping up and down by Ulquiorra her breasts jiggling at each jump.

Yammy was crying "Why won't my daddy let me have non-diet Pepsi!" he screamed rocking himself in a corner.

Stark was…asleep snoring loudly.

Gin bitched on "Then I tried getting in the cart seat at Kroger's but nooo im to big, well fuck you Aizen. You don't know shit about big, Momo told me you have a tiny!" He yelled shaking his fist.

Nnoitra was running around trying to break the spoon hood but ran into a wall. Nnoitra groaned, it sucked having an eye patch.

Nnoitra had an idea and stalked off to the tool shed. "Ulqi-chan I wanna play tag!" Harribel screamed in Ulquiorra ear.

Ulquiorra cried more "My mom and dad gave me this helmet on my head because I was special and liked to hit my head against table! That's why it's broke!" he said sobbing.

Harribel backed away but then got an idea "Oh Ulqi-chan~" she said seductively.

Grimmjow punched a wall "Stupid people picked on me in school calling me a pussy! But then I ripped their eye balls out and fed them to them" he said happily.

Yammy ran toward the fridge and got out a regular Pepsi and chugged it then talked while drinking "Ha ha daddy im drinking Pepsi!" he yelled then falling over choking.

Gin ran around screaming "Were all going to die in 2012! Tosen told me while he was reading the calendar! I don't wanna die im still a virgin! Wait a minute…." He said getting an idea.

Ulquiorra looked up as Harribel stripped down to nothing and blinked then sobbed more "Uncle Timmy tried touching my boobs! Why Uncle Timmy why!" he sobbed.

Harribel stepped back a little raising an eyebrow.

Ulquiorra looked up and saw a table and screamed with pleasure "Table-Chan!" he yelled head butting into it.

Stark looked at him waking up and saw a lot of blood coming out of his head "Ugh you ok buddy…." He asked slowly.

"Yes why do you ask" Ulquiorra he said his face blank blinking except his pupils were extremely big.

Gin came up behind Harribel his chest showing and in his boxers "Oh Harribel~" he said his eyes open not realizing she didn't have a bra.

Harribel turned around and Gin just stared and had a giant nosebleed.

As Nnoitra came back in he was greeted by Grimmjow in a Wal-Mart vest.

"Hello welcome to Wal-Mart, get your shit and get out :D" he said happily.

Nnoitra blinked holding a chainsaw then asked "Yes where are the Pokémon cards at?" he asked.

Grimmjow was already running to the bathroom going to do god knows what.

Nnoitra just blinked and started up the chainsaw and swung it at the spoon but it epicaly bounced off shaving off some of his hair.

Yammy got up from choking and ran to the bathroom and opened the door to find Grimmjow drinking out of the toilet.

Yammy raised an eyebrow "Aren't you a cat?" he asked Grimmjows head shot up and he looked back and shot a cero at him in rage "You shall never speak of this!" he yelled.

Gin hugged Harribel sobbing "Aizen was trying to touch me in my no area and said he'd give me candy if I came with him to Hueco Mundo! he told Tosen that I'd read him a book in brail" he sobbed.

Harribel patted his back "Now it's ok don't worry he won't touch your no area" she said hugging him.

Gin cried more "He also forced me to read Tosen a book in brail!" he cried.

Grimmjow ran through the house but tripped over Ulquiorra who was acting like a dog.

He barked at Grimmjow who just ran away on all fours and Ulquiorra gave chase barking.

Stark stood up and everything was fuzzy. He reached for the table for support but fell face forward and the mask around his neck punctured him a bit.

Slowly each of them passed out as Ulquiorra stopped chasing and fell asleep on the table.

Grimmjow curled up like a cat and went to sleep.

Nnoitra used the spoon hood as a pillow and passed out.

Gin fell asleep in Harribel arms as she fell asleep on the couch.

Yammy fell asleep with a bunch of Pepsi cans surrounding him.

Stark fell asleep were he had fell on the floor.

~Later~

Szayel stormed into the room and was about to scream who had token his crack brownies but saw everyone asleep and shook his head "I really need to change the lock on my door" he said shaking his head.

Stark burped randomly sitting up "Damn brownies..." he whsipered rubbing his head.

Whelp there's a ultra-crack story no pun intended ^^.

A-N: Should i do another series like this except fraccion this time.


End file.
